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There is widespread belief today that no matter how
smart we are and how hard we work,
our success and happiness are no longer certain....
Reality: We have more control over our
future than we think---if we change the way we think about ourselves and allow our
inspirations to guide our aspirations.
THE POWER TO
CHANGE
One of the most powerful and efficient ways to reevaluate
who we are and alter our direction in life is through psycho-cybernetics.
Psycho-cybernetics is a form of self-therapy that
concentrates on the role that self-image plays in nearly everything we do. Only by taking
control of our self-image and changing the ways in which we act and respond can we achieve
our goals.
Psycho-cybernetics was developed by Maxwell Maltz, MD, a
plastic surgeon. Dr. Maltz noticed that after corrective surgery, some of his patients
still behaved as if they were deformed. He concluded that self-image was often more
important to a patients success in life than the surgery.
Dr. Maltz went on to draw a more general conclusion in his
1960 best seller, Psycho-cybernetics (Pocket Books/$6.99). If people could change
their self images voluntarily, he argued, they would be able to lead fuller, more
satisfying lives. Psycho-cybernetics succeeds because it shows us specific ways to use our
conscious minds to change the negative images in our subconscious minds that hamper
success.
MISSION CONTROL
While much of what affects your everyday life may be
outside of your control, you can take charge of situations that present themselves by
setting goals that are strong and flexible.
Think of your brain as an inner guidance system, like the
computers that direct missiles. Your brain decides the direction in which you travel -
what choices you make in work and life. It determines how you react to setbacks and
difficulties. Learn how your brain will locate and pinpoint anything that is on
your mind.
It is important to choose wisely and control the
information you feed your inner guidance system, if you want it to direct you toward
success.
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SEEDS OF SUCCESS
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The secret of dealing effectively with whatever
challenges come your way
is a process that I call
SEED
stands
for the situation that arises. It's a fact, a reality that nothing can
undo.
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is
the way you evaluate the situation, with self-talk that interprets and
judges what is happening. Do you hear yourself blaming others (How can they do this to me?
It isn't fair)... or blaming yourself (This just shows I'm a failure)? Such messages bring
nothing but self-induced misery.
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is
the emotion that arises as a result of the evaluation. If you
react to a setback by blaming others and anticipating disaster, your emotions
will be anger, frustration and fear. You'll be unable to function effectively,
and the stress may make you physically ill.
But if your evaluation bypasses "not fair"
thinking - and focuses instead on positive strategies for which you can take
responsibility - you'll be calm and in control. The key is to catch yourself as soon as
"not fair" thinking begins, and to consciously change your view from external to
internal. Only by holding yourself accountable can you limit your emotional reactions.
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for what needs to be done. Where will you go from here? A calm, positive
outlook orients your behavior toward a proactive, problem-solving stance.
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signifies that acting in this way will bolster your self-esteem. Rising
to the crisis with a calm, effective game plan will increase your feeling of confidence -
a vital ingredient for success.
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SETTING FLEXIBLE
GOALS
You can't use your inner self-guidance system effectively
unless you have a target - a clear-cut goal to strive for. You must define the direction
of your life before you can move in that direction.
A goal should be specific - not I want a better job, but a
specific job that you've decided is right for your needs, skills and long-range ambitions.
If you don't take the trouble to write down your
aspirations, how will you take the trouble to follow through?
Develop an action plan to achieve your goal.
Break the big picture down into small, concrete actions you must take to get where you
want to go, and assign dates for achieving them. Identify obstacles, and create strategies
to overcome them. Surround yourself with people who want you to succeed, not discouragers
and naysayers.
Example: Ten years ago, I was a successful
psychotherapist in private practice. But back then, I decided there was something I wanted
even more - to be someone who lectured around the world. I had been speaking in front of
audiences with some success and wanted to do the same thing abroad. So I wrote down my
goal and pasted it in places I would see it every morning - on the bathroom mirror and on
the refrigerator.
The reminders kept me motivated to find out what I needed
to do - learn the right skills, find a good speakers' bureau, etc. - set a timetable...
and then take action. Speaking and directing workshops around the world is what I do now.
While it's vital to have a concrete goal in mind, you can't
be rigid. The mind is like a parachute. It only works when it is open. You don't really
know what's out there until you start to look. Pursuing your goal is a learning process.
Be receptive to what life is telling you, and be willing to change course accordingly.
x x A is
available upon request from the person who directed you to this site.
- To engage Bobbe for a keynote address
contact her by phone, fax, or online -
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